Need a copy writer or dialogue writer to write humorous copy for a chat-bot conversation on a website

We are an app development company that specializes in development of business apps that can be deployed on websites, smart phones, iot devices, chat apps and on websites with chat based user interface. We need a conversation script for our website chat bot. Our website chat bot would speak a few sentences and take the user’s response in text form or in the form of options. The script needs to take care of all options that the user selects and all branches in the conversations. The script also needs to start the conversation differently with visitors who have interacted with the bot previously. So the branches of conversation has to take care of repeat visitors too. We need the personality of our bot to be likeable and usable to the business community - who is not very tech savvy most of the time. Hence we need the personality to be humorous too - humorous but not a fool - we want the bot to be seen as a tech geek whom they could trust - but with a high sense of humor. We have a sample script written by a geek - so it lacks personality and sense of humor but it will give you an idea of the sort of conversations we need. You need to write the script based on what you think the user will be needing to know. The options can be words instead of number choices. They can be free text entries too at times. Script sample: Hello, I am Ash (you need to rename this guy) from [login to view URL] I will be your virtual assistant, giving you information on how your business can use technology to achieve its goals. Beware though, my intelligence is ‘artificial’ and I cannot answer questions outside my domain of business apps. Enough of me. Tell me a bit about yourself. Your name, designation and the name of your business? ((User gives his/her input)) Cool. Let us begin. Did you know that apps can greatly enhance productivity and can automate tasks related to marketing, HR, field force management, B2B and internal processes? But wait! What do we mean when we say apps? The kind of apps that you download from android and ios stores? Well, much more than that. Apps are any database driven business applications that can be deployed in more that one ways. 1 Deployed via websites - using a traditional graphical user interface 2 Deployed via websites - using a conversational user interface (like this site that uses me to do the ‘conversation’) 3 Deployed via conversational user interface like this one but instead of being on a website it is deployed on popular chat applications like facebook messenger, telegram, slack and more. 4 Deployed via app store apps for smart phones - android or ios 5 Deployed via other specially designed devices that do very specific tasks like controlling the temperature in a boiler or water levels in a tank or the lights in a building - collectively labelled as the “internet of things or IOT" We develop apps that can be deployed across all these 5 platforms. Which platform do you think is more suitable for the application that your business needs? (Options) 1,2,3,4,5 ((User will enter any one of the above options and conversation will branch off to that option and continue)) ((We will be wanting to take the visitor’s email address too at some point in the conversation))