Needed!! Satirical blog posts for website similar to The Onion or Babylon Bee

Are you up to writing some satire? Parody? Before we go any further, I have good news and bad news. We’ll start with the bad news first. THE BAD NEWS: You won’t get rich doing this project. And by that, I mean you’ll make $20. Yup. $20. Pretty pathetic, eh? THE GOOD NEWS: BUT, If you provide me four (4) reasonably well written articles (150-160 words) and put even a modicum of effort into it, you will be handsomely rewarded with a beautiful well written 5 star review. Promise! So it’s a good way for you to build your profile on Freelancer. (Any writer worth their salt should be able to knock one of these out in 30 minutes or less, better than Domino’s Pizza.) So, if you’ve gotten this far without rolling your eyes and putting your fist through the computer screen, then LISTEN UP: Here is your assignment: Topic: We need hilarious satire or parody written about entrepreneurship, personal finance, business opportunities, self-help, career, business, management, marketing, -- anything in the so-called "success" industry. Think Gary Vaynerchuck, Tim Ferris, Tony Robbins, Guy Kawasaki, Dave Ramsey, Stephen Covey, and the like. Click on the below: Notice all the different podcasts? Pick one and take a look at some of episodes for inspiration. Or write about an author, podcaster, etc. you are familiar about. [login to view URL] Also, you are welcome to check out the actual website where your article will end up landing: www.landoflance.com. Do us a favor, though? Don’t share it please. Visit it to get an idea of what we are looking for but it’s not ready for prime time. So don’t be plastering it all over Facebook QUITE yet. :) What's needed: I need FOUR (4) articles written. Should be about three (3) paragraphs-ish (150-160 words – did I mention that already?). The article should be satirical in nature that either spoofs the subject or says something true about the subject using sarcasm, humor, absurdity, etc. Must be funny! IF YOU READ ANYTHING, READ THIS: MUST be written in 3rd person and sound like a news article you’d read off of CNN of FOX or MSNBC. Check out these websites: [login to view URL] ; theonion.com. I PROMISE you: If you read these and you replicate the tone and style of their articles, you’ll be golden. BE CREATIVE! BE FUNNY! BE SARCASTIC! Don't be afraid to get stupid ridiculous!! - But make sure the article is coherent and has a point and doesn’t sound like it has been written by a 2nd grader. One thing to note: I want to be careful not to insult the actual person and/or organization... so I'm not looking to be mean with these articles ... mostly just putting them in ridiculous situations or lightheartedly poking fun. Tim Ferris or Gary Vaynerchuck or whomever should be able to read the article and get a chuckle out of it. Same goes with anyone else. Last but not least: Keep it PG or hovering between PG and PG-13. I don't want profanity or sexual innuendos, etc. YOUR 5 STAR REVIEW AND $20 AWAITS P.S. Please try to put forth a good effort. I’m pretty easy to please but try to at least use correct punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.