30548 expert required for knowledge

Hi Please read before bidding :-) If you can not truthfully say yes then do not waste my time and I shan't waste yours. OK I need someone who has AOL instant messenger and someone who is available on it most of the time. You must be able to speak fluent english and also be able to understand short hand txt language such as words like r8 or wotu up2 en? (please note I wont talk to you like that unless i am in a rush lol) You must be have an expert knowledge of webdesign in particular in the field of php and MYSQL, I would also like you to have a knowledge in flash, html, and css - up to current standards Proof will be required as will a trial period agreed upon acceptance of the project. Anyway to the deal - I ask you a question - you answer it - it will be based on php and mysql and other types of webdesign questions - you must answer virtually immediately to any question asked - most questions are going to be simple such as....... how do i put a table into a php document so that the answers to my query are returned in the relvant part of the table. what is the code? (there is a file attached which must be completed before I can consider you as a contender for the job. There will be many questions now and in the future - you will be like my online reference library lol but you must have patience as I am not an expert although I can hold my own int he coding world just sometimes - well most of the time I need a pointer in the right direction. OK so I want to know how much you require for each question - some questions may be complicated - (although I doubt it lol) most questions will be as simple as the one above. We can arrange payment on me picking you although I will only pay via paypal. I have a good feedback rating so you can tell I am good for my money. As an after thought I can not tell you how many questions I will ask you, I can not even imagine to guess - somedays it might be 10 - 15 other days you may go weeks without me asking you anything so it will be on a as and when basis