Help me write something

Looking for someone to write an interesting, moderately funny article LISTING products which are available on commonly used web [login to view URL]: Top Twelve Things You Need to Make a Great Feast This Thanksgiving*** See example below ***CONTENTPost must include product links and a sentence or two about it but NOT a product description. Tone should be light and amusing as opposed to purely [login to view URL] LINKSThe majority of products should be from the sites Amazon, Walmart, Best Buy, Barnes and Noble, Home Depot, Lowe's, and ThinkGeek. Other sites are fine too but should represent no more than say 30% of the [login to view URL] products may be included as long as they are not adult in nature, illegal, [login to view URL]:1. Product Name or DescriptionLink to ProductProduct CommentEXAMPLE:TITLE: Top Twelve Ways to Survive Another Holiday Dinner with Family1. Earplugshttps://www.amazon.com/Macks-Care-Ultra-Soft-Earplugs/dp/B0051U7W32/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1504693488&sr=8-3&keywords=ear+plugsJust smile and nod when you see Uncle Frank's lips moving and you won't have to get into another argument about whose golf game is better.2. Product #2LinkCommentDELIVERYProject can be delivered in a MS Word Doc, email, etc.