Write personal product descriptions that generates clicks

Hello, I am doing a website which is going to feature a lot of products and therefore also product descriptions. It is not a webshop, it is a niche-website from thisiswhyimbroke, which you may know. I am going to need around 3 product descriptions daily, which means I need quite a lot as it is ongoing with no end date. The subject is 'Camping'. The perfect product description for me: - has 30-50 words in it - is interesting/humorous - has a personal touch (no boring informational texts) - most important of all: makes people want to know more about the product What I need you to do exactly is: - Find a list of products - Write descriptions to each of them - Include a picture of good quality (at least 244x160 pixels) - Include a link to where you can buy the product I want the products ready in at least 7 days in advance, so I am always sure that I have 3 new products for each day, but if you prefer to deliver lets say once a month that is even better. I will ask the candidates I find interesting to do a couple of test products in order to see if you have what I am looking for. I prefer a fixed monthly pay. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Martin